In search of . . .

Blog stats! They are endlessly fascinating to us bloggers. When I have met up with bloggers they have come up in conversation. Numbers are fun and interest some but it is not what catches our attention as much as the odd search terms.

Search terms are great. They give us an inkling of strangers’ desires, interests, gaps and quirks. At times I feel pleased to be able to answer a question or give just the right recipe. My blog must be a godsend to some and a puzzle to others. But there are days when I wonder what they were thinking and how the search engine found me.

The ways of search engines are a mystery to me. They sometimes seem to be so clueless. I sometimes wonder what a person thinks when they are searching for an album that has got a passing reference in my one line ‘on the stereo’ at the end of the post, and they find themselves directed to a food blog. Or those who are looking for the effects of pomegranate on childbirth might be frustrated to find a post I wrote about it which looked at the effects in history rather than any medical information.

You may have noticed a little counter far down on the right hand side menu. It is the www.statcounter.com ,which I installed at the end of March 2008. I have also just installed Google analytics when I was thinking about this post and will be interested to see how it differs.

Some popular posts seem to be nut roasts, novelty cakes, and my uncooked chocolate cake. Interest in posts can be seasonal. The nut roast traffic is particularly heavy at Christmas time and just recently with Burns Night on Monday there were more searches than usual for vegetarian haggis. Blog events and bloggers referring to my recipes and, in particular posts that have been cited by uber bloggers, all generate traffic.

I thought it would be fun to share a few of the terms that amuse and bemuse me. Of course people searching for information about giraffes and eating often find me. But really, who would want to eat a giraffe!

Giraffe search terms:

• How to eat a giraffe
• how to cook a giraffe
• roast giraffe
• what does giraffe taste like
• giraffe punched by child
• do giraffes suck on bones for milk?
• i looked up at a giraffe as it stared back at me
• does a giraffe give birth or lay eggs?
• how does the giraffe impact humankind

Then there are those who are amazingly verbose in their searching and/or accidentally copy and paste the wrong thing.

Long searches:

• what if i don't have enough sour cream for the green pumpkin soup what shall i do
• i am looking for a recipe for festive ring for vegetarians made from chestnuts cranberries goats cheese was in bbc good food vegetarian magazine many years ago
• 'what cake do you want for your birthday billy?' asks mum. 'well, i really like sweet chocolate cake!' says billy. 'ok, i'll make you a sweet chocolate cake,' says mum. five minutes later bill
• each student should bring a packet of savoury or sweet biscuits, or home baked slice, to share with other students at morning and afternoon tea for the duration of camp.
• if john has four cups crystals and 9 cups of water if his sis add one more cup of crystal .how many more cup of water is john add

Many people type in questions. Some of these I am able to answer easly.

Questions my blog can answer:

• What to serve with a nutroast? (the ideas are endless but roast vegetables or salad are favourite side dishes for me)
• Are scones and biscuits different? (yes and no, depending on where you are)
• What to do with leftover cake crumbs? (make cookies)
• What can i do with left over chestnut puree? (make soup)
• Do you have to soak beans to make chulent (no)
• Is bread pudding soggy? (yes)
• Why boil bagels? (to make them chewy)

Some questions either puzzle me or amuse me. Often I would like to know the answer, in most cases because it would entertain me. Others are of the ‘how long is a piece of string’ variety and if you find the answer, I would love to hear it.

Questions I wish I could answer:

• what does it mean when my cat brings an apple home?
• what is the best cake idea for my mum 68th birthday?
• what is the portion size of dessert at lygon street in Melbourne?
• can you feed a hedgehog graham crackers?
• which people are likely to have a meal of 'haggis'tonight?
• why didnt anyone clean out the ncr fridge before tonight?
• what does it mean when a guy says you are so lovely
• why did the shredded carrots in my carrot cake turn green?
• what are black bits in banana cake? (this question intrigued me so much I checked and found they are tiny seeds)

Then there are the search terms that really make me scratch my head and wonder, what on earth were they thinking when they typed that in or what sort of strange person wants to search for this. Most importantly, why did this search lead them to my blog???

Strange and/or disturbing search terms:

• breast milk condensed milk and tea
• middle aged virgin seduced
• old bimbos with great legs
• brunswick street fitzroy melbournesex shops
• made my hedgehog really mad
• water monster finland
• nazi's tying a pregnant woman's legs together
• virgin mary on pudding lid
• i am still mean to you

And finally there are the search terms that I see that start my mind whirring with possibilities. I have already made the first couple of dishes because I was fascinated by what I have seen in the search terms.

Search terms that inspire me:

• Pumpkin smoothie
• Sweet potato and feta risotto
• Baked bean cake
• plum lasagne
• apricot pudla
• sticky apple treacle pudding
• cutting pizzas with cookie cutter
• haloumi and caraway bread recipe